This post is for men who identify as “Bulls” online. My goal is to show how adopting that label, without the right mindset, is complicating things and counter-productive.
These insights are based on my personal experiences and my opinions as a cuckold. Others may have different views, but this is how it looks from my side.
There are two kinds of Bulls online.
- The Bulls who can’t keep up with the supply of hotwives/vixens because they’re in high demand.
- And the “Bulls” who can’t even keep up with the most basic requirements and are always searching.
What separates these 2 types of Bulls is emotional intelligence and execution.
Because of that mindset, they create options for themselves. And when they consistently deliver on those options, they set the standard.
Once the standard exists, cucks (myself included) naturally gravitate towards them and want our wives with that type of Bull.
What they have managed to do, and what the rest apparently can’t even comprehend yet, so I will lay it out here, is that they make the cuckold couple experience a completely smooth ride.
it’s not like we are not looking for a Bull for sex but we are also looking for the peace of mind that he brings.
When my wife goes with someone like that, I feel relief as I don’t have to worry about the logistics since he has already proven himself and can take control.
Therefore their perceived value increases even higher because the alternative, the 2nd type of Bull constantly fails at a fundamental level which conveys zero trust instead, therefore higher risks.
In this post, I can’t magically change your mindset.
But what I can do is give you a blatant checklist of exactly what will get you cock-blocked, and the reasons why we wouldn’t even consider you as a option.
Mistake 1: LARPING
Have you ever actually asked yourself why you want to be a Bull?
Is it because you genuinely align with the mindset and responsibilities of the role, or is it because you think a Bull is “a guy who gets to sleep with married women“?
On paper, the concept sounds incredibly simple. Find a cuckold couple and sleep with the wife.
And if you don’t put any thought behind that, that’s correct. But that exact oversimplification is the trap that the wannabe Bulls constantly fall into.
When you reduce a relationship to just a physical act so you can have sex, you completely ignore all the nuance which makes you look like an an opportunist which is an instant disqualifier.
Ironically, the men who have actually gotten with my wife are always the ones who never once called themselves “Bulls.”
Because they didn’t pretend to fill some fake porn role, and they were genuine about what they wanted from the start, so our expectations were set on that standard.
But when a guy introduces himself as a “Bull,” my expectations immediately are sky high because, as a cuckold couple we are expecting a completely different experience from a Bull VS a random guy for casual sex.
The reasoning is, the right Bull who is going to be a consistent part of our relationship, is going to put us through a vulnerable phase emotionally and mentally as we are handing him real power of our marriage and sex life.
That is a huge deal, you don’t get more vulnerable than that, and yet many people downplay it.
So in my book, if he can’t do his due diligence to understand to a reasonable degree the roller coaster of emotions me and my wife are going to go through because of him, and for him is just …sex and chill, then thanks but no thanks.
Let’s change the fetish, maybe that helps you understand the issue better:
Imagine instead of the cuckold fetish, we were into scat.
Now imagine random dudes who only having a shallow understanding of what scat is, constantly messaging us, avoiding completely the scat part, and trying set up a date to vanilla fuck the wife.
And when you offer to shit on each other, they’re like “eewww.”
That’s what you guys are doing.
What to do instead:
Don’t parrot the same BS you think the couple wants to hear.
I heard all the stories, and most of them are the same. Everybody somehow has experience with a cuckold couple but for some reason they are now far away.
What a coincidence. Here’s the thing with that. I don’t care.
Instead how about you treat this seriously, start replying with both of your hands, and show you want to put the effort and time to know them?
You might not be the best option, but they might like you and still want give it a try because they can see you’re respectful and eager to learn more.
Mistake 2: Sex is Not The Value You Bring
It’s almost insulting when they try to promote themselves as the “sexual provider” as if sex is some sort of scarce commodity.
Do you really think, a wife who has made the conscious decision to sleep outside of her marriage can’t find sex in matter of minutes?
From my POV, you are offering something that has no value to us and for you to make sex your entire pitch is completely redundant.
So when you start by showing off your dick like it’s supposed to impress us, you instantly reveal you completely lack the emotional intelligence and self-awareness to know any better.
And my honest take without sugarcoating is, yes size is important and when I see a guy whose cock is twice the size of mine, I automatically consider him sexually superior to me, therefore a good choice for my wife.
But that doesn’t always translate to a viable option, so size itself is a weak and incomplete filter which definitely helps to get you noticed, but it tells nothing about whether he actually has the right mindset or is reliable enough to trust him.
At the same time, If your dick is average or smaller than mine (the hubby), and your entire strategy is “look at my dick though,” you’re going to get cock blocked by your own logic.
Here’s how:
Statistically speaking if we are all from the same place your dick is going to be on the same level as the husbands. That’s a fact.
Penis size in cm and inches, per country. source: https://worldpopulationreview.com/country-rankings/penis-size-by-country
Using your own logic, if you think your dick is sexually impressive because you think it’s bigger than average, but in reality you do not even know how to measure it correctly, and you expect to be chosen based on that fact alone, then you are putting yourself at an automatic disadvantage.
Because if dick size is the main thing we value in a Bull, then we have no reason to look for anyone from our own country, and instead, focus only on men from countries at the top of the global size average list.
What to do instead:
Reconsider the whole “I got a good dick” tactic.
I promise you, that’s not the angle you want cuckold couples to judge you on. You’re the one who loses when you make it about that.
Have you actually seen what a lot of guys are packing? And you still want them to be your competition?
It’s true that for many cucks (myself included), the fantasy is a Bull with a massive cock.
But in real life, we can’t have everything so compromises happen all the time.
And when they do, it’s easier to compromise for a guy with an average dick and killer personality, than a guy with a big dick and a shitty personality.
Play to your strengths, not your weaknesses. Cuckolding is a mental fetish first. If that’s news to you, that’s part of your problem.
Mistake 3: Respect Their Pace
Most men who want to be bulls have learned everything they know from porn, cuckold communities and adult content creators.
Self aware men, can rise above it, but the rest… are kept misinformed to a point of self sabotage.
The problem is that real cuckold couples who sell adult content and cuckold couples who live this in private, operate on completely different frequencies.
Adult content cuckold couples have an audience, an algorithm to feed, and financial incentives, so naturally their pace is driven by output and views.
Private cuckold couples have none of that. We have all the time in the world to find the person we think it’s right for us.
And we need that time, because we move slower, as we’re more selective, because most of the time, we are not dealing with professional bulls, but with the average every-day guys, who we know nothing about them, so we have to be more careful.
NOTE: a couple can have a private cuckold life and do porn, one does not disqualify the other. However, what YOU see online and interpret as “everyday cuckolding” is almost always porn, meaning it’s performed, edited, and paced for an audience, not how most private couples actually operate.
Because unlike professional Bulls, who have couples vouching for them, they have videos proving experience and an aged social presence that convey trust, YOU the wannabe Bull on the other hand have NOTHING.
The difference is, when my wife meet a real Bull, I say nothing, argue nothing, and trust his process because I recognize and respect his authority in this lifestyle.
You cannot expect to have the same treatment and ROI from a cuckold couple as him, because to them, you are potentially everything they try to avoid.
Which is something that frustrates me, especially when they have all the desirable physical traits, but their mindset is so fundamentally wrong they get pushy and demanding which is a major red flag.
What to do instead:
You need to realize many of us need ONE good Bull, not multiple. Since we don’t do content, we don’t do collabs, so there is no need to complicate our life if we already have a situation going with another bull.
You could objectively be the best guy in your area for this, but if the couple has a Bull and are happy with him the incentive to date you too is not that strong.
The best bet, is stay in touch and play the long game so they know you’re serious and consistent.
Mistake 4: Treating the Cuckold as an Obstacle
If you do that, answer me this: If you don’t want to deal with the cuck at all then why you identify as a bull and chasing married women instead of single women?
Any answer you give is valid until you claim the “Bull” title. The moment you do that, the cuck is no more an optional add-on.
The cuckold is either going to help you get his wife or completely cockblock you. There is very little middle ground once things move past the first few messages.
Personally I cannot comprehend the mindset of men who treat the cuckold as an annoying obstacle to be removed as quickly as possible.
- If my wife is unsure about you but I like you, I will push for you as humanly possible.
- If she’s deciding between a few guys and I have a preference, I’m going to suggest strongly to the one I think is better.
- If you say something stupid that turns her off, if that’s fixable, I will fix it.
There are way too many variables in play for any bull to pretend the cuckold doesn’t matter.
And when you contact a cuckold couple, there is a very high statistical chance you are talking to the husband first.
Because in many cases, the husband is the one who created the profile (or at least manages the initial screening).
NOTE: This is not a universal rule. For example, in some platforms my wife has 100% full control, in others its 50-50 and in others with low potential I control them.
Our reason is because we regularly receive tens of messages per day across platforms so naturally my wife cannot possibly read and respond to all of them.
So it’s the cuck’s job to filter through the noise, identifying potentially serious bulls, and forwarding only the worthwhile ones to to her.
Here’s your advantage most of you don’t recognize. When you get a reply from a cuckold couple’s profile, you could be getting a reply from the husband.
That means he has already decided or really considering you are worth showing to his wife.
There were probably 150–300 other messages in that inbox and instead of being lost in the flood like everyone else, you are now in a position of a temporary power that you will either lose the next minutes or use it to seal the deal.
The cock-block happens when you think that cuckold has no value to you so you want to talk only to the wife, but you are throwing away the single biggest advantage you have.
You are doing that with the assumption that the wife is also into you and she would have also chosen you if it was up to her.
What if she’s actually into that other guy more, but because her cuck likes you she trusts his instinct and giving you a shot? What you think of that?
So when you remove him, you also remove the reason for her to keep up talking with you.
Instead of being argumentative, accept that you have an insider guy who for whatever reason, supports you to fuck his wife and he is really motivated to make that happen.
I feel you can see my motivation, and still even with my help, we still ignore many wannabe bulls over time.
The biggest reason usually is that the bull is making it clear he doesn’t respect the actual structure of the relationship he’s trying to enter.
And that’s a big no no.
Sometimes the easiest way to get in, is to shut the f up and trust the cuck.
Real example: My wife found online a potential Bull. She was really eager to date him and she wanted me to arrange the logistics, hotel, date and time etc. She gave him my whatsapp, and instead of taking advantage of me when trying to give him tips, he was not interested other than my “blessing.”
At first, I took that as confidence which usually that’s a good sign, but he end up failing spectacularly, since his way of doing things, made my wife complete lose interest in him and move on.
In retrospect, if he had just shut up and let me do the talking instead of trying to run a situation he knew nothing about, he would’ve been with my wife in a hotel room that same week.
What to do instead:
I undersnstand that some guys want to “win” a married woman purely on their own merit to prove they’ve got game or whatever masculine reason they have in mind.
But my wife is already making it easy for you, she don’t play hard to get, we really both want you to win her over.
That’s the equivalent of playing a video game on Easy Mode and somehow convincing yourself you still got it.
If the couple is that open and making everything in their power so you can meet with the wife, let them do what they have in their mind. It clearly benefits you, why do you even want to change that?
Stop letting your ego get in the way and use the husband as he wants you to.
In fact, instead of trying to speak with the wife, change it up and start asking to speak with the cuckold.
If a Bull does that to me, and I find him relatively attractive and reasonable, he would be a serious consideration to me to suggest to my wife. Think about that.
Mistake 5: Painfully Boring with Zero Personality
Most wannabe bulls are boring men, that’s our online every day repeated experience.
Off the internet, our experience is completely different. Most of the time when we go out, my wife ends up interested in some new guy and they actually have a good time.
But every time we try to meet someone online, it’s another guy who can’t back up what he says.
To me, is very clear that there’s an oversupply of average men online who can’t flirt or hold a real conversation and they present themselves in a way that doesn’t match how they actually are in person and that shows the moment things move past the first few messages.
So ask yourself, why me as a cuck who is eager and motivated to find a bull, I’m leaving potential bulls on read?
If you believe you were having a “good” conversation but the couple ghosts you after a few messages, congratulations you cockblocked yourself and you can’t even tell.
The biggest reason for me is almost always the same: Your messages are indistinguishable from the last hundred the couple received. “Hey.” “How are you?” “Nice photos.”
Then the immediate pivot into generic, copy-pasted sexual talk that feels completely unoriginal and boring.
Oh, your dick is hard? So….. fascinating.
When you combine that chat with a generic profile (no personality in bio, low-effort or random generic photos, zero indication of who you actually are), the couple has no incentive to spend any of their limited time and energy on you.
Having said that, I occasionally push a conversation forward even when the opener is boring af only when the guy is exceptionally good-looking, extremely well-hung, or has some other standout physical trait that caught my attention.
In those cases I’ll do the heavy lifting for the first messages because the potential upside feels to worth it.
But even then, if they can’t navigate a conversation there is no reason for me to push more, because as cuckold couple we already require more emotional and logistical effort than the average couples.
We already are managing boundaries, testing, discretion, the husband’s psychology, the wife’s comfort, and many others details, different on each couple on how they want the relationship to evolve.
I can’t just add another someone in my relationship who is adding instead of removing anxiety.
What to do instead:
I guess you could argue that being boring with no personality isn’t a mistake, but a personality trait. I’d call that bullshit cope from people who have no personality.
Personality is built through interests. Read, discuss, question things, and you’ll naturally have something to talk about that you’re passionate about. That’s how you stop being boring.
Most wannabe Bulls who are boring don’t read enough. I’m not talking about gooning material, I mean actual books, blogs, psychology, philosophy, or relationship advice. Whatever makes you curious and want to read more of it.
You don’t need to be the most interesting person alive. You just need to stop being completely interchangeable with every other low-effort profile.
The Biggest Mistake: This Lifestyle Is Not For You
Consider this tough love, but some of you are simply not built for this. The faster you accept that, the faster the frustration will end.
The whole “fake it till you make it” mindset doesn’t work the same way for all, not in all areas of your life.
You might make it work for a while, but if a role goes completely against your nature, you won’t be able to sustain it long-term.
For example, look at it in terms of theory: if I were physically built like a bull, I believe I could out-bull every bull out there.
That’s because I am detached enough, and have enough self-awareness, to recognize the psychology of how I was wired into cuckolding.
So I know what to say, how to say it, and when to say it. If I found a couple who found me attractive, I could in theory fulfill the bull role perfectly for them.
The issue is, it wouldn’t fulfill me as I am not wired to dominate.
While I might love it for the novelty in the short term, a pressure would build inside me long-term until it exploded.
Because my natural state is more submissive, so acting as a dominant Bull act would eventually collapse under the weight of my own nature.
The only difference between me and a lot of aspiring bulls is that their disconnect isn’t as blatantly obvious to them as mine is to me. So it’s much harder for them to realize the truth.
They confuse wanting to have sex with a hot, married woman with actually being wired to handle the psychological weight of being a Bull.
So they think they want this role, but their wiring is actually just that of an average, vanilla guy looking for easy validation.
And when reality finally demands that they step up and embody true dominance and confidence they can’t.
So hey get pushy, defensive, or they flake the couple entirely.
That is the natural result of a man fighting their own nature just to get laid.
Cucklusion
If you’ve read this far, you’ve probably noticed something interesting.
How these mistakes don’t stay separate but they snowball because they feed on each other.
- The initial decision to call yourself a Bull without actually understanding what the role requires sets expectations you’re already unlikely to meet.
- From there, it becomes natural to treat your dick as the main thing you’re offering, which immediately puts you at odds with what couples are actually looking for.
- Once you’re operating on the wrong value, it’s easy to dismiss how slowly and selectively real couples move.
- And if you’re already ignoring their pace, it doesn’t take much to start seeing the husband as an obstacle instead of the single biggest advantage you have/
- By the time your messages start sounding like every other low-effort copy-paste, the pattern has already done its damage.
But the root of your problem is that with every opportunity you had, you only reinforced the same pattern you had: Low emotional intelligence meeting zero execution.
And because you never built any trust or reputation, you have nothing to show the next couple except the same unproven claims.
Now you’re back at the beginning, still searching and frustrated, lying to yourself that the problem is that “couples are flakes” or “the other bulls already took them.
Whatever makes you sleep better at night.